Purpose of Community Gatherings
Go back to the main Involvment Guide page Do For One regularly hosts community gatherings to connect Advocate-Partner matches with the wider Do For One community. We want to provide some clarifying, helpful points regarding our community gatherings so that they can be used most effectively in supporting advocate-partner matches.
The why, what, and how behind our community gatherings:
In Do For One’s early years, a common sentiment among advocates was feeling isolated in their one-on-one relationships. Advocates wanted opportunities to gather with other like-minded people. This desire was the driving force behind launching gatherings across the city.
As of 2024, Do For One is now supporting 85+ one-on-one relationships. This means there are over 160 people (Advocates + Partners) in our network. In order to host intimate and intentional gatherings and not have events exceeding 35 people (besides our year-end Christmas Party which all are invited to), we have divided our community gathering email lists into several segments. Therefore, you will notice that you will typically be invited to an event about once every 2 months, and there will naturally be some events that you have not been invited to.
What our gatherings are and are not for:
Our community gatherings are a space designed for two primary functions:
To support existing Advocate and Partner relationships in the community context.
To welcome and orient new people into our community and provide them a glimpse into what is possible in Advocate and Partner relationships.
Equally important is what our community gatherings are NOT designed for:
Our gatherings are NOT meant to replace your one-on-one relationship with your Partner. They are simply meant to be a side benefit, and an optional activity that the two of you may choose to attend together sometimes. Our hope is that your relationship will unfold, for the most part, outside of our gatherings in the Advocates’ (and Partners’) own neighborhoods, living rooms, friends groups, family, and outside communities.
People with disabilities tend only to be invited into segregated social programs that are designed for “special people.” At Do For One, we are fighting the mainstream culture by inviting people with AND without disabilities to involve themselves freely in one another's lives in real life NYC.
As a guiding principle, it may be good for the two of you to attend some of our supportive gatherings together, but it is even better if the two of you attend a dinner party with your own group of friends, a small group in your own church community, or a group hangout with your sports league!
Our gatherings are NOT typically a space where Partners attend without their Advocates. Some Advocates may wish for their Partners to attend our community gatherings even if the Advocate cannot make it that day, yet this is a dynamic that we try our best to avoid for several nuanced reasons.
Most organizations out there that serve people with disabilities tend to primarily organize gatherings that are only for people with disabilities. If Advocates make it a habit to send their Partners to our gatherings without them, this can perpetuate a cycle of people with disabilities congregating with only the support of Do For One Staff overseeing them. This reinforces a dynamic that we are hoping to avoid, which is people with disabilities primarily depending on paid workers (Andrew, Ben, Jane) to socialize.
Many Do For One Partners cannot travel without support. Since Do For One Staff are supporting over 80 relationships now, it is not feasible for staff to support Partners with traveling to and from events without their Advocates. For this reason, we place the responsibility in the Advocates’ hands to communicate to their Partners when events are taking place, and to support them with travel. This is why you may notice that your Partner does not receive the emails regarding our upcoming events - only our Advocates do.
If you are not able to attend a specific event, we suggest that you do not share the event information with your Partner. If you wish for your Partner to still attend the event without you, Do For One staff can support you to brainstorm who else you can invite into your relationship from your own social network that may be able to attend the event with your Partner! This would be a powerful way to expand your Partners’ social network.
Do For One gatherings are completely optional to Advocates and Partners. Some relationship matches choose not to attend any gatherings. Some relationship matches cannot make it to the events due to Partners’ challenges regarding travel (i.e., the Partner cannot leave their nursing home or group home, and the Partner does not do well in group settings). If this is the case for you, we are happy to have you attend gatherings without your Partner if you would like to, but we encourage you to make extra time for your Partner and always keep them at the center.