March 2023: Mentor to Bridge-builder, Neighbor to Advocate to Friend, Acquaintance to Family-Friend
One of the pioneers and thought leaders in the Citizen Advocacy movement, John O’Brien, says thinking about your relationship along preset lines may create a trap because most actual relationships can’t be neatly classified. Mentors can be friends. Friends can be protectors. Assistants can be mentors. (O’Brien, 1997).
Each relationship can freely choose the investments, direction, and content of the relationship.
See below for a few examples of how Do For One relationships evolve and adapt over time.
With gratitude,
Andrew and Jane
Mentor to Bridge-builder
Joe (left) was introduced as someone to mentor Gabe (right). At first, they would explore different parts of NYC together and check out good restaurants.
Later, Joe invited Gabe to his church, where he could meet Joe's friends and participate in a church community of his own.
Neighbor to Advocate to Friend
Karen (right) and Shannon (left) were introduced as neighbors in the UWS who could bond over shared interests like writing and social justice.
A year into the relationship, Karen learned what a survivor Shannon had been when Shannon was put into a nightmarish five months living in various hospitals while waiting for a home health aide to be hired during national staff shortages.
“Shannon is an incredible survivor who has taught me so much about continued resilience and grit in the midst of a broken care system. Through our friendship, I’ve learned what it means to continue hoping and trying, even when the system keeps telling you no.” - Karen
Acquaintance to Family-Friend
Lenny (left), the Partner, met Jesse (right) at a Do For One Harlem community gathering in 2018. Their friendship grew. Fast forward, Jesse, the Advocate, marries Sarabeth (pictured below), and Lenny gains two committed friends.
Jesse says, "I've learned that true friendship, with some thoughtful advocacy, can lead to deeper experiences of community for everybody involved. Relationships expand opportunities and imaginations, and that's worth working for."
"People Need To Come Together As A Family, Find Peace & Work Together So They Can Bring Justice Around The World. What would justice look like in New York City, or in my home? What do you think?"
— Lenny Dominguez
"It's not a calling to save our vast and lonely world - it is hard enough to "do for one" what you wish you could do for everyone - but just how blessed we are in our commitment to cross a few walls and call Lenny our friend."
— Sarabeth